Gaza

I've written here before about the two years when I lived in the Gaza Strip, working at the Palestinian Centre for Human Rights. So it won't be a suprise to anyone who knows me that the killing of so many Palestinians this past weekend has filled me with grief, anger and despair.

If (not suprisingly) your local or national media hasn't been covering the massacre in Gaza in much detail then read Laila's post about it here

Read Heba's post here

Read a joint blog by a Palestinian and Israeli man (Peace man and Hope man) here

Read what Jews sans Frontieres have to say over here

Or read Tara's post here

Or just look around the internet for some independent news sources (if your news is anything like ours here in New Zealand you won't find much of the story by reading the papers or watching the television).

I can't ever get used to the way that the world allows this kind of killing to carry on in Gaza without raising our combined voices against it. Today I feel that cloud of guilt hovering in the corner of my sky.

After living and working there for two years I left Gaza. I left my friends and colleagues to carry on the fight. I came home to New Zealand to devote four years of my life to strengthening my ties with family and friends and to developing the "New Zealand Action Plan for Human Rights".

Because we all know how much New Zealanders need my passionate defense of their rights, right? Or maybe not. Sigh.

Actually I do believe that working for the better promotion and protection of human rights in my own country is an important part of my life work. There are too many people here in New Zealand who are denied access to their rights. Children live in poverty in New Zealand. Maori land rights (indigenous rights) continue to be violated. Disabled New Zealanders face daily discrimination, as do trans-gender and inter-sex New Zealanders. Refugees and migrants face racism as they try to find work and accomodation. There was work for me here, but it was hard to leave Gaza.

It was just as hard as it has been to leave Afghanistan. Maybe even harder. I was younger.

For the first few years after I left Gaza I tried to remain politically active on Palestinian rights. But the barrage of emotional attacks I sustained from people who misunderstood my passion for the lives and basic rights of Palestinians took a toll. I couldn't summon up the energy to argue with people who had already formed their firm opinions on the basis of news headlines.

I looked for ways to support my Palestinian friends and colleagues without having to have pointless and emotionally exhausting arguments with people who have never stepped a foot in Israel or the Occupied Palestinian Territories. Ultimately I think I have failed to find the right path for me and during my two years in Afghanistan I wrapped all my passion for Palestine up in a ball and tucked it away in the back of my mind.

I let Afghanistan consume me and comforted myself with the thought that whilst I might be failing my Palestinian friends I was doing the best I could in Afghanistan. Hey - how much can one girl do?

But coming home and letting Afghanistan's grip on my heart ease just a little has allowed room for my love for Gaza to come flooding back in and along with it this desire to find a way to do more.

So here I am again. Knowing full well that my guilt won't help anyone and that I can make a difference here, in some small way today I'll find a way to show my support for the right of people in Gaza to live in peace, security and freedom. Maybe writing this post was the first step.

Comments

[Graciel]

You, Peace Warrioress, have no guilt. Your love and energy HAVE made a difference in each place you have poured your heart into. You returned to paradise to refill your lamp. Your needful lamp. Allow the beauty of the landscape and the sun to refill you. Then, when you are filled once again to overflowing, shine your lamp of goodness on the next shadowed spot. Your every effort and positive thought make the world of difference.

Namaste. :)

[Laini]

I'm ashamed to say how little I know about this -- and about so many other conflict zones around the world. I hate our US media, the focus on inane, bullshit "celebrity" news, and the distortion of what little real news they do report. I'm not sure where it originally came from, but in spite of pervasive cultural indoctrination about Israel, I've always felt a big uneasiness about what we here are taught to "think" and feel about Palestine. As a child, I couldn't really understand how a group of people could just go build a homeland where other people were already living. I guess I still have a pretty childlike view of it, of so many things, my first reaction being, "But it isn't fair," as if that ever matters to the ones with more guns.

Ah, M, I wish there was some way that the rest of us, who in our ignorance and uselessness deserve to feel the guilt you do NOT deserve to feel, could take some of it away from you. You are amazing. You are one of the very, very few people in this world who goes out of their way to try to make the world a better place, instead of just complaining that "it's not fair." But I think the same thing that makes you willing to risk yourself for others makes you especially susceptible to guilt. I hope you find a way to find peace with it. You deserve it.

[Paris Parfait]

Thanks for your lovely message and the nod here. I know how you feel, particularly about trying to have conversations with people about issues, if they already have pre-conceived notions, without ever having been to the region. It can be disheartening and dispiriting. The Palestinian issue has been part of my life for many years and the situation is more frustrating now than it was back when as a young reporter I began covering the Middle East. As you know, Gaza has become a powder keg and the so-called "security-fence" is wreaking havoc with the livelihoods, education and medical care of those trapped within...It breaks my heart and I, too, feel your frustration. By writing about their plight and calling attention to these injustices, maybe we can help educate others or at the very least, make them think. As for you and your human rights work, ALL of it is important - including what you've done in New Zealand. You continue to make a difference, even without being physically present in Gaza, the West Bank, Afghanistan - you already helped sow the seeds of positive change, if even you aren't there to see the benefits. xoxox

[teawithdemeter]

Compassion is larger and more powerful than you know. Have faith in it.

[teawithdemeter]

Compassion is larger and more powerful than you know. Have faith in it.

[John Mullis]

Thanks Freda - Like you I am passionate about what is happening in Gaza and frustrated that it's all such a non issue with anyone I try to talk to about it. Especially Christian friends for whom Israel is some kind of sacred cow!!! I went as a Christin pilgrim and spent a month there in 2000 and was horrified to see how Palestinians were treated. It changed my perspective overnight. grrrr!#%!!!xxx#@

[Margaret]

It is very difficult to keep up with all of the injustice in the world. I spent a year doing human rights work in Guatemala and I don't keep up with it anymore. I try to keep up with Palestine and that can be hard as well. I've been saying that I am going to write a letter to the editor about the current Gaza situation and still haven't. Instead I have been working on my application to study Arabic this summer which can be considered my way of contributing to understanding. You have faces and stories that you can share and these are so important. I have found that my passion comes out in little things such as being able to put a face on undocumented immigrants to this country, being able to explain why people are forced to come here, how their lives have been significantly altered by trade policies and war.... The same with the Middle East. Just by talking about growing up in Lebanon, by reminding people of the humanity of us all, I am creating small amounts of undesrtanding. When I told someone the other day that I was going to go study Arabic, their reply was, "Isn't that Osama Bin Laden's language?" What a teachable moment.
I wish we could make what is happening in Gaza stop. Every time I hear the death toll in Gaza vs. Israel I cringe. I am with you in spirit.

[Di]

I was intrigued to read of your experience with conversations about these things. I used to blog about Palestine and Israel but finally felt like I couldn't stand up to the rage that flares in people when these topics are discussed.

These days I'm working for an ngo dealing with these issues in Europe now ... it helps a little, I watch and listen, seeing if this world doesn't change just a little.

[third world traveller;]

I've come across your blog a few times and I am amazed at the strength of your convictions, the compassion and empathy with which you write but most importantly with your actions as an embassador for human rights - to give voices to those who cannot themselves, provide safety and health to those without the means and constantly confronting some horrible truths of humanity in faith of greater humanity. To me, your blog has always been a testimony to the power of individuals and resilience of the human spirit. Also, just thought you would be interested in this website - http://thirdworldtraveler.com/ of books, articles and press that offer alternate views, information and eye-opening insights into current third world events and issues.

Take care and keep writing!