Practicing compassion

Before I left Afghanistan I decided that the one of the key challenges of learning to live back in New Zealand would be learning how to make a positive difference to the balance of peace and compassion when it was no longer my paid job to do so.

Obviously, the first thing I have learned about this is something I learned 10 years ago - when I first started working full-time as a human rights advocate (in the Gaza Strip). What I learned there is that you can't rely on the "big" choices of your life, or on the "big" gestures, to be your compassionate practice in the world. You can't sit back and say "well, I decided to come and work as a human rights advocate in the Gaza Strip so I've made the right choice and I can relax and expect my impact to the positive".

What I learned was that it is the small choices, the daily moments in which we chose to feed the peaceful wolf, that really add up to our practice of peace in the world. I learned that if I did my humanitarian work with a heart filled with anger and fear it didn't add up to more peace and compassion in the world. Not exactly rocket-science, but I've never been too hot on maths and it took me a while to work out this simple equation!

So it was a great discovery for me when I learned, much more recently, that there are practices that can help to cultivate our natural compassion. In Afghanistan I learned that taking even ten minutes every morning to practice meditating on my true nature, my compassionate nature, which is free of ego and self-grasping and which is open and effortless, could actually begin to cultivate more presence of that nature in my day to day life.

Then I got home to New Zealand and I got to go out for walks in the sun, I was able to go for bike rides and to yoga classes and to spend delicious evenings in the company of good friends. I could go shopping at the market for fresh vegetables and cook them into gourmet meals. Life was good and filled with love and incredible yet simple pleasures.

So I stopped sitting to meditate every morning.

I went on a two day seated meditation retreat and found a wee practicing Shambhala community with whom I could sit in meditation on Thursday evenings. But I dropped my regular morning practice.

I've just recently really begun to notice the difference. But now that I see it, it feels glaring. So I'm getting back onto my morning cushion. It fascinates me how much I resist this simple practice. I avoid these ten minutes even while I happily spend 50 minutes readings blogs. I don't beat myself up about the resistance. I know it is really common. But it is kind of perplexing, to resist something so simple which has offered me so much in the past.

So for now, with gentleness and compassion, I'm nudging myself back onto the morning cushion. Just for a few minutes every day. To practice cultivating compassion so that I can access my compassionate nature more freely when I need it out here in the world.

Comments

[Alexandra]

Hey! oh my this has been on my mind ALL the time lately. There is a STARK difference when I take time to breathe and be with all that comes up and when I don't, and no matter what comes up, I am always, always better served by making the time and yet, I resist it like a loon, truly. And I don't get that because my day and I are always so very much more alive and grounded and I'd say more beautiful too. But yet I am committing right here and now to doing this right now....I'm getting off the computer right after this sentence for the next 20 minutes- you too M!
xo

[Megan Potter]

"What I learned was that it is the small choices, the daily moments in which we chose to feed the peaceful wolf, that really add up to our practice of peace in the world."

You could take out the italicized part and insert almost any phrase, any practice, into the sentence and it still be one of the most profound and powerful lessons we can all learn! It's something I try to remind myself of each day: It's not what happens in a far away future, it's what I do today, that matters.

[Katie]

You have been on my brain in my heart these many months. I'm full of smiles to catch up on your goings on and read about the ways in which you continue to cultivate peace. So glad to know things are going swimmingly with you! Sending good vibes, katie

[susanna]

It's good that you are recognizing the little things that YOU need - meditation - and are then taking steps to reincorporate that into your life. I'm also glad that you are fitting in walks on the beach, yoga classes (even though you are taking a break from that on doctor's orders)and dinners with friends. Those things make life just so much better, too! And, really, after working in Ghor, you deserve those moments of peace and happiness in NZ (& LA), too.

[Juneau Eco Mommie]

It sounds like you do so much for others, it's good you're taking time for yourself. The power of the mind is undeniable. You have been given such a gift that you can recognize it.
-Namaste and be safe

[boho girl]

love the image of you sitting on a pretty silky cushion and glad you are able to take time to do this while you are there. i know how much it means to you.

thinking of you today while you take the test you're going to kick ass on.
thinking of you, knowing your someone special is snuggling up close.

xo

[Swirly]

I have been in that same space of resistance for months...it is so crazy that I have such a difficult time taking even three minutes in the morning to sit still. I love and admire you and LOVE having you here.

[Alex aka Gypsy]

You sound so balanced and calm. I love the tone of your post. Makes me want to stop everything and go sit for a minute in a quiet space... Good luck today!! I know you will just rock that test. xx

[[a}]

I love your wisdom. I've been struggling with resistance, too, in daily rituals similar to meditation (different types of prayer, thankfulness, etc.) The thing is, I need more than one reason--more than "because it's good to/because God said so/ because my mom told me to."

This "clicked" it for me: "could actually begin to cultivate more presence of that nature in my day to day life"

And "so that I can access my compassionate nature more freely when I need it out here in the world"
So profound.
Thank you.
xoxo

[vika]

Have seen your blog mentioned on other people's sidebars and finally visiting... Now I understand why you left blogger - it looks SO much better! I really liked this post. You are so write. We spend so much time avoiding the things that are really good for us. What strange beings we are?

[vika]

Sorry I meant 'right'. It's later here!