Checking out

I've just arrived in Kabul after one final week in Herat. It has been the kind of week that seems appropriate as an ending to my time in Herat. Herat was a place, for me, which was filled with tumultuous and passionate love, extraordinary challenge and incredible rewards. In Herat I hit one of the lowest points of my life and in Herat I found my way back into my personal and professional strength and confidence.

So it seems appropriate that this has been a week in which my farewell party was interrupted by explosions all over the city, forcing all invited guests to stay at home (with the exception only of the UN regional security officer); in which my final goodbye dinner with a much-loved ex saw me put on a performance of melodrama and tragicomedy worthy of an Oscar; and in which final departure to Kabul was interrupted after five failed attempts to land in Kabul by a detour to Pakistan.

I am now in Kabul and heading into to my final week of "checking out" - such a bald term, and so inadequate to describe the complex emotional and professional process I'm going through these days. But as hard as it is to move on, I'm finding myself increasingly ready for the next adventure in my life. A year at home in New Zealand studying psychology, writing and refreshing my relationships with family, friends and the land to which I belong.

Comments

[Captain Cat]

Frida... good to have you back here in Kabul. I've very much enjoyed reading your posts. It seems like you've had a pretty tough time at times, but it also seems like it's been immensely rewarding as well, and you've clearly done a lot of good along the way. Afghanistan will always be your home and will be here, for better or for worse, if you ever decide to come back. I'm happy you've made it through to the other side and come up smiling, ready for your next adventure.

Would love to see you - give me a call; maybe we can hang out on Friday afternoon?

x

[annieelf]

Formative as this past time has been for you, Frida, I am so happy that you will be getting a YEAR with your family and will be able to pursue personal studies full-time. I look forward to reading of this year to come and along with many others look forward to seeing you arrive at your next landing site. xxoo Annie

[Kerstin]

What a rich life you have given us the pleasure of witnessing from afar, Marianne. I do hope that one day you will write that book because your stories are fascinating and your insights are wise and warm; all narrated with clarity and eloquence. I, too, look forward to reading about this next chapter in your life. Wishing you a safe journey home and a wonderful Christmas with your family :)

[Swirly]

This is such a lame word to describe how I feel as I read this entry, but GOSH. Forget gosh, it is more that I sit here and simply smile and say to myself, "How cool is it that this incredible woman is my friend?"

[homeinkabul]

Oooh, Kerstin has a great idea! Write a book!

Or at least post regularly, I really enjoy your writing and am always inspired by you and your journeys.

Much love & Peace,

HiK

P.S. I got a camera!

[megg]

As usual I don't know what to say - I wish you and everyone and everything around you peace.

Safe journey.

[chocolate covered musings]

safe journey home. i'll be thinking of you in the sunshine.

xo
leonie

[Silvia]

Have a safe journey home :)

[Linni]

"i love the solitude of reading. i love the deep dive into someone else's story, the delicious ache of a last page." (naomi shihab nye)

thinking of you!
xx

[ceanandjen]

have a safe trip home...you are in my thoughts and my heart. sending you love.xoxoxo

[maddie]

That IS a dramatic exit!!!
I wish you such joy and discovery, love and enchantment
in New Zealand:)

[tiny noises]

Cheers to you for your dramatic exit! and big love to you from afar.

[safrang]

Thank you Frida. It has been such a pleasure reading your posts over the past several months that it is sad to see you leave. I wish you all the best in what lies ahead. Also belated congratulations for the nomination for a brass-crescent award. As someone put it, you are "Cheghcharan's star blogger"!

[susannah]

...and life continues and opens new doors.. and you are so ready, my beautiful friend.... a sad goodbye but a welcome new hello too... i love you so much xoxox

[yasmine]

oh, my goodness! i found your weblog just as you're leaving afghanistan. so glad i've come across your site (through Brass Crescent). i'm looking forward to more lovely, reflective posts from you, even as you return home to new zealand.

may your journeys be beautiful and blessed, always.

[Peter]

How fortunate we are to be able to make these choices, Frida!

You have a gift for writing and photography... As someone in earlier comments said: "write a book".. (I am currently playing with "Booksmart", a free software that imports a blog and sends it to a printing shop) If you would write a book, with many of your posts (and certainly with many of your pictures!), I would buy it!!!! Think about it.. Might be a way to 'close' one period of your life...

Travel safely... enjoy both the good-bye's and the hello's...

Peter

[Brian]

May your voyage home be swift and safe and the pieces of your heart left behind in this place continue to beat for justice and peace.

[Alex]

And I am thinking here how ironic it is that I am arriving on the post of goodbyes. This is a total surprise to me, since as you know, I vanished from the map for the last three months... I'm sorry for how the go away party turned out :( But I'm excited because for sure there is a brilliant new path ahead of you... Besides, I can come visit you now! And I can send mail! Now that is something to look fwd too :P Sending you tons of love xxoo Always thinking of you and wishing you well. (Need to send you some pics from when Gemma was here - I'll get on that next!)

[Mandi]

My thoughts are with you as you begin this wonderful (and sometimes difficult) transition back to your native land. Enjoy the process as much as you can.

[katie]

Travel safely, Frida. I'll miss reading of your Afghan adventure - warts and all. More often than not, I've found your blog a source of inspiration and contemplation. (Do you know you're a total budda badass?)

I will travel to NZ in February with my friend Sandra (the fun Frenchie). It would be a treat to meet you if it worked out. Maybe some tea or a Spight's? Take good care of you.
Katie

[susanna]

Oh Frida, I imagine that it must have been so hard to say goodbye to your friends in Herat and now in Kabul. Just imagine what your life is going to be like in the New Year, though! Whoo hoo! I'm really excited for you. You deserve this break. It'll be so nice to be HOME, surrounded by your friends and family. You'll have time to think where you want to go next, what you'll want to do next... what GIRLIE DRINK you'll want to order next! :)

[Margaret]

Good luck on your next journey and adventure, Frida!

[mahima]

frida!
seems like another year full of promise and potential is beginning for you.
i wish you lessons and joy and piles and piles of love!!

[john Mullis]

Haere Mai - watch out for reverse culture shock and don't be surprised if it takes loonger to adjust to the land of your birth than you expect.

Best of luck with the study and keep blogging! loved your photos, you have a good eye.

[Justin]

mmmm...that is such a familiar image in terms of the final chapter of check out...so much emotion coupled with so much excitement to move to the next adventure...Glad you are safe and I hope your journey to your new journey is filled with more moments of life realization...thinking of your adventures and wishing you bon voyage!!!